


I Will Follow You into the Dark

by neko_fish



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-03
Updated: 2013-03-03
Packaged: 2017-12-04 03:24:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/705963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neko_fish/pseuds/neko_fish
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fives times Leonard followed Jim into the dark and one time Jim followed him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Will Follow You into the Dark

**Author's Note:**

> The title and a huge chunk of the fic was inspired by Death Cab for Cutie's song.

One:  
  
“I may throw up on you.”  
  
“I think these things are pretty safe.”  
  
Cue rant.  
  
Jim Kirk and Leonard McCoy became fast friends after that.  
  
They were both at their worst on that shuttle. Unwanted by the world, they found and claimed each other as their own. Resentful and bitter at everything they went through to end up where they did, they clung to each other like drowning men at sea, struggling to stay afloat.  
  
After the shuttle ride, they went their separate ways to find their rooms and their respective roommates—which happened to be each other.  
  
Leonard couldn’t say he was too surprised by the turn of events. After all, they were probably the only people around who weren’t formally enrolled in Starfleet so who else would they’ve roomed with? That didn’t stop him from voicing his annoyance though. “Guess it looks like we’re really stuck together, kid. I knew I shouldn’t have let some Starfleet officer sweet talk me into joining.”  
  
Jim raised a brow in interest. “Was it Captain Pike that did you in as well?”  
  
He can’t help but scoff of disdain at the memory. “Yeah. Fucking  _Captain Pike_  and his ‘Starfleet need more people like you’ speech. It’s like he was waiting for me at that bar—all I wanted was a drink.”  
  
“I know what you mean. He came up to me in a bar too, it’s like he just loiters around shoddy places all day waiting for people like us,” Jim offered sympathetically  
  
Leonard scoffed bitterly, wishing his flask could magically refill itself. “People like us? Easy recruits? Or did you mean homeless vagrants?”  
  
“Call me picky, but I think I prefer ‘vagabonds’ to ‘homeless vagrants.’ It sounds a little less…smelly and desperate.” Jim smiled wryly. “It’s all the same in the end, I suppose.”  
  
He shrugged. “Call it what you like. I don't see the point in sugar coating it's all. So Pike got you too, eh?”  
  
Jim nodded. “Yeah, but unlike you, I came here on a dare. It was Pike and his stupid ‘Don’t you feel like you were meant for something better, something special, blah, blah, I dare you to do better’ speech that got me.”  
  
It was clear that Pike’s speech  _did_  get Jim at a much deeper level than Leonard could hope to understand with what little he knew about his new roommate. So he didn’t even bother trying. Hell, he was tired of trying.  
  
What did years of trying ever get him anyways?  
  
What it got him was a messy divorce, little to no personal belongings, an increased chance of dying forgotten and alone, and a rancid taste in his mouth although that might’ve been the cheap alcohol he had in his flask.  
  
Tossing what little belongings he had left at the foot of his bed, he sighed. “Sounds like we both got the short end of the stick then.”  
  
That was as conversational as he was willing to get.  
  
“I'll say.” Jim gave a snort of agreement. And before Leonard can even think about taking a shower and hitting the hay, Jim started again, “You wanna go check out the bars around here, Bones? I think I owe you a drink for your generosity earlier.”  
  
“Bones?” he repeated with a frown. “Since when did I become  _Bones_? Don’t I get a say in this?”  
  
“Since the shuttle ride?” Jim offered with a smile. “And no, you absolutely do not. You don’t look like the type to give good nicknames.”  
  
Leonard’s frown deepened. “Why not? And like you should be one to talk! What kind of pet name is Bones?”  
  
“A special one—obviously,” was Jim’s casual reply.  
  
“A special one?” he asked warily.  
  
Although the tone of voice Leonard used was normally enough to deter people from socializing with him, Jim’s grin never faltered. “Yeah, it’s a special nickname from me to you, Bones. You should be happy about it! Now, seeing as we’re going to be here for awhile, let’s go see what the nightlife’s like around this place.”  
  
Rolling his eyes, Leonard pocketed what little credits he had left and followed Jim into the dark.  
  
\--  
  
Two:  
  
Leonard sighed and took a large gulp of his coffee, welcoming the rush of caffeine to his system. As much as he wanted to be supportive of Jim’s endeavour to pass the Kobayashi Maru, it simply didn’t work well with his schedule. “Look, Jim, I’m sorry, but I really don’t have time to be there to watch you fail a third time. I’ve got a test the next day that I need to study for.”  
  
Jim immediately stopped in his tracks and turned around with a frown on his lips. “But, Bones, you’ve been studying for that test for weeks now! You’ll do fine! We both know that you’re going to pass it and get the highest grade in your class like you always do! Besides, I’ve got a foolproof plan this time! I swear I’ll pass it!”  
  
“That’s what you said the last two times.”  
  
He knew he had to stand firm on the subject when he saw Jim switching over to his tactical mode. After having been manipulated into less than ideal situations on more occasions than he cared to admit to, Leonard had come to familiarize himself with Jim’s methodology.  
  
 _Step 1: Begging_  
  
Leonard mentally steeled himself as Jim practically draped himself over his shoulders and pleaded, “Please, Bones? I could seriously use your help. I promise you won’t have to do anything but sit there, look pretty, and watch me beat this test. Please? Pretty please?”  
  
It always amazed Leonard how well Jim pulled off puppy-dog eyes and the whole begging and grovelling shebang. But he was prepared this time. Snorting, he replied, “If I just have to sit there, then that means you don’t actually need help. You can replace me with anyone else who feels like failing the test. Really, Jim, I need to study and it doesn’t help that I’ve got work later as well.”  
  
“What I meant was: I need you there for moral support, Bones!”  
  
Leonard rolled his eyes and took another drink of coffee. “I’ll support your from afar. You know, my heart and spirit will always be with you and whatnot.”  
  
 _Step 2: The Best Friend Card_  
  
Jim tightened his grip. “But I want you physically there beside me! How else will you bask in the glory of my victory? You’re my  _best friend_ , Bones! There’s no one I’d rather share such a special moment with!”  
  
Leonard heaved a sigh and massaged the bridge of his nose. “Then record it for me and we can watch it together tomorrow,  _after_  my test. Hell, I’ll even celebrate your victory with my good bottle of bourbon if you can wait until then.”  
  
 _Step 3: Bribery_  
  
Jim frowned and let go of Leonard in favour of crossing his arms. “Come on, Bones! Just come with me and I promise I’ll never bug you about something like this again—mostly because I’m going to beat the test and will never have to take it again—but still! Please? I’ll even buy you a brand new bottle of bourbon for us to celebrate with!”  
  
He blinked in confusion for a moment. “Why would I need a new bottle of—dammit, Jim, you got into my stash again, didn’t you? I was saving that for a rainy day! Now I’m definitely  _not_  going with you just to spite you for drinking my alcohol without permission.”  
  
“But, Bones!”  
  
Glancing at the clock, Leonard inwardly cheered. He was almost there. “You best be off soon. The test starts in half an hour, doesn’t it?”  
  
 _Step 4: Stubbornness_  
  
“I’m not going without you, Bones.” There was nothing but determination in Jim’s voice but Leonard was certain he could handle it.  
  
“Yes, you are,” he retorted, equally forcefully.  
  
 _Step 5-_  
  
Jim let his shoulders sag as he let out, “Dammit, Bones, I need you!”  
  
Any protest Leonard might’ve had fled his brain. After a long moment, he let out a heavy sigh and got up, leaving his cup on the table. “Fuck you. Let's just hurry up and get this over with.”  
  
Jim’s eyes lit up when he realized that he had won the battle.  
  
“One of these days, Jim, I’m going to learn how to say no to you,” Leonard promised as he followed his best friend into the darkness of the stimulation room.  
  
\--  
  
Three:  
  
After stopping Nero and the Narada, the crew of the USS Enterprise returned to the Earth as heroes.  
  
Leonard couldn’t help but note the irony of the situation. Somehow, he and Jim had gone from the most unwanted duo on Earth to the most celebrated champions in the blink of an eye. Not surprisingly, Jim soaked up the attention like a needy child while Leonard tried his best to stay out of sight. But after a couple days of basking in glory, even Jim quickly learnt that being a hero wasn’t as fun as it sounded.  
  
The two of them spent the next week hiding from the media in their old dorm room, letting the higher ups take care of the press releases and conferences instead. It felt strange being back in their old room after having been through so much—not that Leonard ever really had the chance to check out his quarters on the Enterprise with the number of patients he had on his hands. Just thinking about it made him tired.  
  
But at least there was one positive outcome from his elevated status.  
  
Sifting through all his job offerings, Leonard couldn’t help but be pleased with all the options he had.  
  
As he went through all the offerings, Jim walked over with two cups of coffee in his hands. “Good news, Bones. While we might be out of real food, we still have enough coffee to last us at least a week.” Taking a sip from his cup and setting down the other, he smiled. “I’m going to miss this place. It’s got a rather nostalgic feel to it now, doesn’t it?”  
  
“Thanks.” Leonard nodded in agreement as continued scrolling through the messages on his PADD. “I suppose that’s just what happens after you spend a little time in space and save the Earth from destruction and whatnot.”  
  
“I was thinking more in terms of all the crazy shenanigans we went through in the last three years.”  
  
Leonard snorted. “You mean the crazy shenanigans  _you_  went through in the last three years.”  
  
Standing behind him and looking over his shoulder, Jim raised a brow. “You seem to be in an awfully good mood today, Bones. Judging by the lack of complaints and general grouchiness, I’m guessing you got a lot of Terran offerings? I know how much you enjoy having both feet firmly planted on the ground.”  
  
He smiled wryly. “Couldn’t deny it even if I tried. Not everyone’s star-bound like you, Captain Kirk.”  
  
Although Leonard was excited about being posted on Earth, he was all too aware of how much he would miss having Jim around—loud and obnoxious as he was. And a part of him couldn't help but feel a little disappointed that he hadn’t been extended an offering to work on the USS Enterprise with Jim.  
  
“So which ones are you planning to accept?” Jim asked conversationally.  
  
Reaching over to grab his cup of coffee, he shrugged. “As of the moment, Starfleet Medical’s offer seems like the best career choice in the long run. It’s got pretty good benefits, a really good pension plan, it’s a stable job, and like you said, I get to keep my feet on the ground.”  
  
“You sound so senile when you say that. I think you’re the first person I’ve met who actually reads the terms of agreement and the benefits and whatnot. And pension plans? Aren’t you a century too young to be talking about that stuff?” Jim laughed lightly and moved to take a seat across the table from him.  
  
Leonard shrugged lazily and took a gulp of his coffee, enjoying the mild jolt the caffeine sent his heart. “What can I say, Jimboy? Those things are important. I’m just a simple country doctor. And I’m pretty sure my best days are behind me so it only makes sense to start looking out for my future self.”  
  
“I’ll never understand how you suddenly aged from 30 to 185, Bones. Maybe you were just born old.” Jim shook his head with affection and handed him an envelope. “Here, it looks like you forgot one, old man.”  
  
“What’s this? An actual envelope and letter?” Raising a brow, Leonard carefully opened the envelope and unfolded the letter inside. “I didn’t realize they still printed things on paper.”  
  
“Maybe it’s special, Bones. Why don’t you read it and see?” Jim suggested with an easy shrug.  
  
Briefly scanning through the contents of the letter, Leonard blinked in confusion, not quite comprehending the words on the page. “It says I’m being offered the position of CMO to the USS Enterprise. And it’s signed Captain James Tiberius Kirk.” He looked up from the letter with eyes wide with disbelief. “Jim, is this really…?”  
  
Jim offered him a cheeky grin. “That’s actually the first time I signed my name as captain. Come be my CMO, Bones. I know you’re not that fond of space, but I want you out there with me. There’s no one I’d trust more with my health and safety than you. And forget everything you just said about being old and stuff. I promise you that out there, all your best days are still ahead of you. So what do you say, Doctor McCoy? Be my CMO?”  
  
And it was with those words that Leonard's enticed into following Jim into the dark once more.  
  
\--  
  
Four:  
  
Leonard was suspicious.  
  
And he had every right to be.  
  
It had been a normal day before Jim casually sauntered into the sickbay and smiled at him. “Bones, you’re off after this shift, right? Come to my quarters at 1800 hours for dinner, okay? It’ll be a date.”  
  
If Leonard had been anyone else and didn’t know Jim as well as he did, he would’ve missed the slightest hint of doubt in the invite.  
  
It alarmed him.  
  
But before he could question it, just as nonchalantly as he had entered the sickbay, Jim sauntered back out.  
  
Leonard took a moment to exchange confused glances with Chapel before shaking his head and going back to work.  
  
He didn’t allow his curiosity to get the better of him until after his shift.  
  
Undeniably intrigued as to why Jim was acting so strangely, at 1800 hours, Leonard dutifully made his way to the captain’s quarters. Once he stepped inside, he immediately began to wonder if he had entered the wrong room.  
  
The lights were dim and there were holograms of lit candles placed all around the room (lighting real candles would’ve tripped some sort of alarm which then would’ve led to a sound lecturing from Spock on the importance of following safety regulations). Leonard furrowed his brows when he spotted Jim sitting at a table set up for two. “I feel like I should be alarmed. What’s with all this stuff, Jim? You’re not trying to perform a séance or some voodoo ritual, are you?”  
  
Jim immediately shot him a mock-pout. “You wound me with your distrust, Bones. In what way does this look like a séance or some voodoo ritual? Wait, don’t answer that.”   
  
Obediently, he remained silent.  
  
“I told you it was a dinner date, didn’t I? I did all this just for you. Since you’re an old fashioned guy, I figured I’d do things the old fashioned way.” Gesturing at the empty seat, Jim smiled invitingly. “Take a seat, Bones. We should probably start eating before the food gets cold. I know it’s just replicated food, but it’s still food and we shouldn’t waste it.”  
  
Brain still not registering neither the situation nor Jim’s words, Leonard remained standing and asked, “No, seriously, Jim, what is all this?”  
  
Jim repeated himself slowly, “Like I said: it’s a date, Bones. Or a dinner date, if you want to be more precise.”  
  
Leonard shook his head, unable to wipe the look of disbelief off his face. “Something is clearly wrong with you, Jim. Maybe you should come with me to the sickbay so I can properly examine you. Knowing you, you probably caught something from that last planet we were on, or maybe it’s an allergic reaction. It shouldn’t be since I scanned all the food before the banquet, but then again, you  _do_  have the craziest allergies known to man—dammit, Jim, I told you to be careful out there! I’m not sure what’s wrong with you yet, but I’ll find out and when I do, you can bet your credits that it’ll somehow be your fault!”  
  
Laughing, Jim reached over and pulled him down into the chair. “Calm down, Bones! I’m fine! Geeze, leave it to you to get all paranoid and crazy over a little romantic gesture. Way to spoil the mood.”  
  
“Romantic gesture?” Leonard repeated warily. “Mood?”  
  
He desperately wished he had his tricorder on him.  
  
Jim shrugged. “Well, the candles  _were_  supposed to be here for ambience, not to start an anxiety attack. Now that I think about it, I guess I should’ve anticipated you flipping out, but I didn’t know how else to ask you and this seemed like the proper way to do it.”  
  
At that point, Leonard’s brain had overheated due to the unprecedented amount of confusion he was facing, and as a result, he lost all ability to form proper sentences and thoughts on his own. “How else to ask me what?”  
  
“I’m about to make a proposition to you, Bones. Hear me out before you freak out, okay?”  
  
Leonard slowly nodded.  
  
Satisfied with his answer, Jim began, “There’s a…project I want to try out, call it exploring a new frontier if you will, but I’ll need a partner to help me. There’s—or there  _should_  be minimal risk of bodily harm. Mental and emotional risks run high though. And I suspect that there’ll be a lot of trial and error in the process. So all in all, I’d consider it a medium-risk venture.”  
  
Hazel eyes narrowed suspiciously. “And you want me to partner up with you for this project?”  
  
Jim shrugged. “Yeah. Who else would I ask? I think I’m going to call this project ‘Mission Relationship.’”  
  
“Mission Relationship? What kind of dumb name is that?—oh.” Then everything in his brain clicked together. “ _Oh_. Good god, man, why couldn’t you just have asked me if I wanted to go out with you like a normal person?” Then after a pause, he asked, “Are you really sure about this, Jim? You could have anyone in this universe if you put your mind to it. Are you sure you want to do this with me? I’m just a simple country doctor.”  
  
Smiling, Jim nodded, his confidence returning to him. “There’s no one I’d rather do this with. Anyways, according quite a few members of my crew, we already bicker like an old married couple so we’ve already got that part pat down. And you’re not just a simple country doctor anymore; you’re the best CMO in Starfleet now. Explore this new frontier with me, Bones. I promise you’ll enjoy it.”  
  
Leonard rubbed the back of his neck hesitantly. “Jesus Christ, only you could make something like that sound sexual.”  
  
Grinning, Jim leered at him. “Are we going there already? I didn’t think you were the kind of guy to broach that frontier on the first date.”  
  
He snorted and took a bite of the food in front of him. “Don't get ahead of yourself, Jim. Before you even  _think_  about turning the lights off, let’s see how dinner goes. I’m starving.”  
  
And just like that, he followed Jim into the darkness of a different frontier.  
  
\--  
  
Five:  
  
“Why am I here?”  
  
Jim glanced back with a playful grin. “Come on, where’s your sense of adventure, Bones?”  
  
Disgruntled, Leonard scowled. “I never had one, Jim. Can’t find what you don’t have. I'm a doctor, not an adventurer.”  
  
Exploring a jungle on a strange planet was the last thing he had in mind when Jim asked him to join him on a diplomatic mission. Apparently the counsel had insisted that Jim and his crew do things the traditional way by exploring and finding the counsel hall on their own before agreeing to negotiations of any sort. At least that would explain why Jim conveniently ‘forgot’ to debrief him in the transporter room. So although Spock had managed to locate the approximate position of the counsel hall, due to interference in their atmosphere, he was unable to pinpoint the exact location.  
  
All that then led to their current predicament.  
  
It was hot, muggy, and there were low-flying insects the size of cows in the air. Leonard flinched as another bug flew a little too close to him for his liking. “Why couldn’t you’ve brought Spock or Sulu down here instead? I’m sure they would’ve found these freakishly huge bugs and plants ‘fascinating’ and whatnot. I would’ve been perfectly happy staying in the sickbay.”  
  
Jim shrugged ruefully, casually ducking away from an insect. “I know you would, but it’s too late now. We can’t be beamed up in such a thick jungle. I figured it’d be a good idea to have a doctor around especially with these things flying around. I’d really hate to be attacked by one of these. Their stingers look like the spears people used to use in the fourteenth century.”  
  
Leonard was too distracted by the looming insects to comment on Jim’s random fact. “I really hope they’re not poisonous. But knowing our luck, I bet they’re poisonous and you’re probably deathly allergic to it. Why did I ever let you talk me into coming with you?”  
  
“Because you love me, obviously.” Jim smiled.  
  
Frowning, he didn’t bother replying.  
  
 _“Captain, you are nearing your destination. You should be able to see some indication of the counsel hall in your current surroundings.”_  
  
“Thank you, Mr. Spock.” Looking around, Jim frowned. “Are you sure that this is the place? I don’t see anything that could-”  
  
 _“Captain?”_  
  
“Never mind, Mr. Spock. I think I see it.”  
  
Leonard followed Jim’s excited gaze and stopped in his tracks, jaw going slack. Then slowly, he began shaking his head. “Jim. No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I refuse to go in there! Forget about these guys and the damn negotiation. Let’s just turn around and go back, Jim. I don’t want to go in there.”  
  
In front of them stood a large cave with the widest and most ominous opening he’d ever seen. Ignoring his protests, Jim made his way over to the mouth of the cave with an expression of awe. Then turning back, he smiled. “Come on, Bones, we made it this far already. We can’t turn back now.”  
  
“What are you talking about? Of course we can! All we have to do is physically turn 180 degrees and walk back,” he retorted sharply.  
  
“But we finally found it. The counsel hall can’t be anywhere else. Let’s go check it out, Bones.”  
  
He raised his hands and took a step back. “No. I refuse to. I absolutely refuse to go into an unlit and unexplored cave with no immediate way of getting back out. For all you know, they could be waiting for us, armed and angry! What if they try to cook and eat us, Jim?”  
  
Before he could turn around and run away like he wanted to, Jim returned to his side and began pulling him towards the cave by the arm. “Just because that happened that one time on that one planet where they made us go through a similar situation doesn’t mean it’s going to happen again, Bones. Don’t be so paranoid!”  
  
Leonard scowled and tried to wrench his hand back. “Excuse  _me_  for having survival instincts, but there’s no way I’m going in there. You can get me to follow you into bars, into unbeatable tests, into space and into relationships, but I’m not following you into some random cave in the middle of a jungle—again! It’s bad enough out here with all the mutant insects that may or may not attack us at any given point!”  
  
Jim studied him for a long moment. “You’re really not going to go in there with me then?”  
  
“I’m really not going to go in there with you,” he affirmed.  
  
Shrugging, Jim let go of his arm and made his way towards the cave. “Alright then, Bones, I’m not about to force you into doing anything against your will so you can stay out here and wait for me. I’ll go in by myself. I should be back some time tomorrow if everything goes well.”  
  
He blinked, surprised. “Stay out here? With all these mutant bugs and god knows what?”  
  
“It’s your choice,” Jim called back nonchalantly.  
  
After a long moment, Leonard cursed under his breath and hastily followed Jim into the dark.  
  
\--  
  
+One:  
  
No one predicted that the USS Enterprise would go down during Jim’s reign as captain. They were caught in an ambush by a Klingon vessel that’d been hiding in the magnetic field of a nearby planet.  
  
No one ever saw it coming.  
  
After shooting down the enemy ship, it was already too late. The Enterprise had sustained too much damage to get home in one piece.  
  
Immediately ordering everyone aboard to evacuate the ship, the crew of the Enterprise cleared the halls and the rooms in a flurry of panic and disorder. Watching the emergency shuttles depart one by one, the bridge crew monitored the evacuation and waited for everyone else to leave first.  
  
Jim was walking around and taking one last look at his beloved Enterprise when Spock came up to him. “Captain, the ship only will only hold up for another ten minutes and thirty-seven seconds.”  
  
He nodded. “Alright. And has everyone evacuated?”  
  
“I’m afraid not. The medical team is still onboard.”  
  
Alarmed, Jim furrowed his brows. “The medical team?” After attempting to comm Leonard, he frowned worriedly. “Bones isn’t answering. And the PA system’s down, right? I’ll go see what the hold up is. Spock, you stay here, and if it gets down to three minutes and I’m still not back, evacuate the rest of the crew without me.”  
  
Spock raised a brow. “Captain, I believe it would be advisable for you to remain here with the crew instead.”  
  
He shook his head, a sombre expression on his face. “There’s got to be a good reason for this. I know the area around the sickbay was damaged during the attack so something must’ve happened to them. Under normal circumstances, Bones should’ve been able to evacuate his team and all his patients in _minutes_. Stay here, Spock, I’ll keep in contact with you.”  
  
“While that is a logical conclusion, for the sake of-”  
  
Jim frowned. “It’s  _Bones_ , Spock. If our positions were reversed, I would be obliged to respect your wishes. We’ve talked about this before, remember? I’m going.”  
  
After a moment, Spock dipped his head and conceded, “Very well. Please be careful, Captain.”  
  
Nodding, Jim took off for the sickbay, trying his best to ignore the sparks and small fires that ignited from the damaged interior. Once he neared the sickbay, he could hear panicked shouting which caused him to hold his breath as he made his way forward.  
  
“We can’t just leave you behind, doctor!”  
  
“Dammit, Chapel, I need you to take that patient and get him to the shuttle! Now! On this ship, you’re a nurse before anything else and you’re responsible for his life! The entire team’s waiting for you to evacuate! I don’t know how much longer the ship’s going to hold, so get going already!”  
  
“But-”  
  
Jim walked over and placed a hand on Chapel’s shoulder. “Bring your patient to the shuttle and evacuate with the medical team immediately, Nurse Chapel. That’s an order.”  
  
Chapel spun around in surprise. “Captain, but Doctor McCoy….”  
  
He shook his head. “There are still crew members waiting for medical aid. They need the med team out there ASAP.”  
  
Leonard grunted, suppressing a shiver. “Chapel, go. M’Benga will know what to do.”  
  
Hesitantly, she nodded her goodbyes and pushed the stretcher out of the room without another word.  
  
Only when she was gone did Jim dare to look down at Leonard’s trapped form. He felt nauseous when he took in the scope of the damage. A large chunk of the ceiling had fallen on top of him, crushing his body from the waist down. There was no saving him, even Jim could see that. “Bones…Jesus Christ, Bones.”  
  
Eyes just barely focussed, Leonard scowled. “What the hell are you doing here, Jim? You need to get out of here.”  
  
He barely registered the words over the sound of his heart pounding so loudly in his ears.  
  
Jim swallowed thickly. “How did this happen?”  
  
“Does it matter?” Leonard retorted snappily.  
  
“How much time do you have left?”  
  
“A couple minutes—a little over five is my best guess.”  
  
“Does it hurt at all?” he asked hesitantly.  
  
Leonard shook his head weakly and answered in a composed voice, although his sweat drenched hair and shivering took away from any calming effect it might’ve had, “No, I’m in shock right now—can’t feel a damn thing. It’ll probably stay this way until either I bleed out or the ship blows up. Now enough with the questions. You need to get off this ship, Jim.”  
  
It amazed Jim how Leonard still managed to make everything sound like a complaint. Taking out his communicator, he comm’ed Spock. “Mr. Spock, please evacuate the rest of the crew and depart without me. I trust that you will lead them safely to the nearest Starfleet base or outpost.”  
  
Hazel eyes glanced upwards in disbelief. “Jim, what the  _fuck_  are you doing?”  
  
Sitting down with his back against the fallen ceiling, he looked down and tried his best to concentrate on Leonard’s face, brushing loose strands of hair out of the hazel eyes he enjoyed gazing into so much. “Don’t worry. Spock and I have an agreement.”  
  
“Don’t worry? An  _agreement_?” Leonard repeated incredulously. With some effort, he reached over and attempted to push Jim away. “I don’t care if you both have tails and horns sprouting from your faces—you’re not staying here, dammit!”  
  
Jim didn’t reply as he laced their hands together. He tried not to notice how Leonard’s hands, usually so strong, warm and firm, had gone weak, cold and shaky.  
  
 _“…I understand. I will respect your wishes and inform the crew, captain.”_  
  
He took a deep breath before answering, “Thank you, Spock.”  
  
 _“Jim, Doctor McCoy, live long and prosper.”_  
  
“Take care of everyone, Spock. Peace and long life,” Jim replied and put his communicator away.  
  
Widened hazel eyes stared at him. “Is he out of his Vulcan mind!? Are  _you_ out of your goddamn mind!?” After his outburst, Leonard lay there, panting, his breathing becoming shallower and his skin paler than it had been a moment ago. “Jim, they still need you. You have to go.  _Please_.”  
  
Jim shook his head. “I’m not leaving you behind, Bones.”  
  
“Dammit, Jim, this isn’t the time to be stubborn. The last shuttle’s going to leave at any moment now.”  
  
“I’m not leaving you behind,” he repeated. “I won’t let you go alone.”  
  
Narrowing his unfocussed eyes, Leonard looked up at him and frowned. “Why are you doing this?”  
  
“Are you really going to make me say it?”  
  
Leonard gave a faint snort and sighed in defeat. “No, I won’t do that to you.”  
  
Jim smiled and squeezed his hand reassuringly. “I guess this is it then, Bones. We had a good run, don’t you think? We got through Starfleet Academy, saved a couple planets while traversing through space, and we even travelled to a parallel universe once. I wish we had a nice bottle of something right now.”  
  
Closing his eyes, Leonard muttered through chattering teeth, “Y-you should’ve left, Jim. The crew needs a captain.” His lips had gone blue and his skin deathly pale. He looked so cold despite the sweat rolling down his face.  
  
“They’ve got Spock.” Then thinking about it for another moment, Jim continued, “And being the captain wouldn’t be satisfying at all without a grumpy CMO to bicker with. I don’t know if the admirals would’ve let me continue being a captain after getting the Enterprise destroyed anyways.”  
  
“They would’ve. You saved everyone.”  
  
“But not you,” he replied sadly.  
  
Swallowing thickly, Leonard’s voice was growing raspier and weaker with each word. “S’not like everything would’ve ended with me.”  
  
“It would’ve for me,” Jim insisted. “My time with Starfleet started with you so it’s only right for it to end with you. I wouldn’t have been anything without you, Bones—wouldn’t have _wanted_ to be anything. I don’t want to live in a world without you.”  
  
Breathing rapid and shallow, Leonard frowned. “U-unbelievable…such an infant sometimes.”  
  
Chuckling softly, he wiped his eyes with the back of his free hand. “I try, Bones. I try.”  
  
Unseeing hazel eyes fluttered open briefly. “You crying?”  
  
“I’m not crying,” he lied.  
  
Mouth dry and lips sticking together as he tried to form the words, Leonard tried to reassure him, “S’okay, Jim. It doesn’t hurt. M'just gonna sleep now.”  
  
Jim tightened his grip and blinked the tears away. “Yeah, just go to sleep, Bones. I’ll be with you in a minute.”  
  
Then in barely a whisper, Leonard told him, “Love you, Jim.”  
  
“I love you too, Bones,” he murmured, though he wasn’t sure if Leonard could hear him anymore.  
  
There was only silence after that.  
  
With their hands still clasped together, Jim closed his eyes and waited to follow Leonard into the dark.


End file.
